What are the Signs that say You Found Your True Soulmate?

What are the signs that you found your soulmate? Do you have soulmate compatibility with your partner? How can you know if it is true soulmate love?

And do these questions even matter? Why have we all heard about this millions of times before? What is the meaning behind true soulmate love?

I’ve come to notice that in general, whenever people talk about soulmates, they generally refer to this idea of two halfs, that were somehow cut out and separated, like that mythological ancient idea told by Aristophanes here:

“[Each] one longed for its other half, and so they would throw their arms about each other, weaving themselves together, wanting to grow together.”

The idea about soulmates has to do with both of these people being very similar so that they can get along just fine. So, to be soulmates, you basically need to be similar. The other person has to “get you”. Only then you are “soulmates”, only then you are “compatible”. You are so much alike and you just get each other so well that you are always comfortable and always happy…

Take this Wikipedia definition as just one of the examples I could have put here:

A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust. Wikipedia

A romantic relationship with another person has to have all these things: love, romance, comfort, intimacy, etc. But «similarity» isn’t the only focus here. This is the point that I want to convey here. «Similarity» shouldn’t be the only focus in a romantic relationship. If you’re not similar, it’s okay too!

 

Why do we hear so much about this soulmates definition?

Then I question, why do we see this soulmates definition being propagated everywhere, from movies, books, series, our cultures, etc. Why do we keep telling ourselves that we need to find people that are like us? Why? 

Clearly, it’s not doing us any good. It is a bad concept to have and to follow because as we grow up, we eventually get hit in the face by reality. Reality hits hard. Once we clear our eyes from this true-love-utopic-cloud, we realize that not everyone will be the same as us and that everyone is obviously different. 

Or, in many cases, reality doesn’t hit. And then it’s even worse, as in that case, the chase is never-ending and utopic. And this chasing can keep going for years and years if we don’t accommodate ourselves with our partners’ differences.

Because there is no such thing as “your other half”. When we believe in that perfection, that dream, we might find someone that we like, or even love. But any time a conflict arises, we think that maybe it’s better to just go ahead and find someone else, less this, better that. 

 

Unrealistic “true soulmate love”

With this concept of love, we seek a dream, a person that will be like our twin in everything. But if we think about this for a little bit, we can come to the obvious realization that when we allow ourselves to dream and follow this idea, we are misleading ourselves into believing that there is someone out there that will be just like us. That there will be this someone who will completely understand us and that there won’t be any struggles and fuss about anything and we will be living happily ever after. Because we get each other so much all the time! So Perfect! (but not real)

 

The easy way out concept

This idea is building emotionally weak people run away from long term relationships because they can’t deal with any kind of issue that arises and keep dreaming of the “perfect” partner.

There needs to be balance. Just like yin and yang. We need balance, we need differences to complement each other (to some degree, depending on the personality of each person). You can’t be the same. Because then who will run after you if you both are stubborn and run away after a fight? Who’s going to be the first to say sorry if you both don’t do it? Who’s going to put some balance in your relationship if both of you are exactly the same?  

Easy ideas are easy to convey to everyone. If they are easy, everyone can follow them.

And this theory is so comforting to have. We all would highly prefer to be with people that would always understand us or be very similar to us because then there wouldn’t be any kind of conflict (as we like to believe) and so, people would be always happy – in Happylandia.

However, according to psychology and the understanding of the different personality types people have, we need to have differences with our partners. Because if we are too much alike, there is just stagnation. This idea is not only shared in the psychological field, as ancient theories also talk about this, and also in many world cultures.

(If you are interested in knowing about this more in depth to learn about the different personalities people have, this is a great place to start, from Linda Berens Ph. D. She has over 35 years of studying these topics. Or if you already know about the personalities theory, then check this video on YouTube about the four sides of the mind)

 

Example of struggles between two same types

Imagine the scenario, two people, exactly the same, of the same type of personality come together – this is hypothetical, of course, as there is no such thing as exactly the same people, but let’s suppose there is.

Although it may seem like they will get along just fine, it would not be the perfect match. In fact, it will be a terrible match. Because each of them has their personal energies and predominance’s, but in this case, these are exactly the same. So there is no balance. Both of them have the same strengths and the same difficulties. Imagine a scale, where both of them are on the same side, while the opposite side of the scale is empty.

You can look at the enneagram 8 personality type as an example. Two exactly the same people with an enneagram 8 won’t stand being told what to do all the time by the other. They want to be the ones in charge. Because there are people that have a preference for leading others to achieve things, not the other way around. So if two exactly the same people with this preference get together, it won’t be amazing. It will be a struggle because one of their main focuses in life isn’t being met. After all, partner A needs that same need in the same exact degree as the partner B. So the question here is: who is going to win? Who will be the submissive one? Who will suffer and who will not?

So how could there even be any compromise if they both need the same level of control/dominance? There is no one to complement them with other things they are lacking. So in this case, they would have to just pretend they don’t have those needs so that they could share them with each other. But the fact remains – both need the same level of dominance, yet they can’t have it; they can only have half of that level of need met.

So how is that perfect? How is that a soulmate relationship? How is it like to constantly feel like you can’t do the things you want and are naturally inclined to do? How must it feel like to live life only at 50%? Because that is what will happen in this “soulmate” relationship.

And keep in mind, it could actually be worse – this is just my example scenario of splitting their needs by half. Another scenario could happen, as one of the partners could overrule the other, so instead of splitting their same needs by half, one of them could completely dominate the other, making the other completely miserable (as he/she would have to go to another side of their mind/personality) and surrendering their needs for the other person to be happy. And that would lead to a lot of resentment if they continued to stay together, and possibly ending in a deadly fight.

Again, not as a “perfect” scenario as you might have thought it was.

“Power struggles become occasions for revenge by the one who feels aggrieved, or they may simply take turns hurting each other as they continue to wear each other down until “the final straw” has been reached.”  [Article on] Potential Trouble Spots or Issues for Two Enneagram 8 in a relationship, Enneagram Institute

 

In true love, we need to be ourselves

When we share our life with another person, we don’t want to be taking roles or adjusting so much that we go to our shadow personality or our stretch points. We need to be completely ourselves, we need to be embracing our main personalities in order to be happy.

So if you cannot be fully yourself because the other person also has the same needs as you, you need to find someone who will respect your needs.

When there is this other person and they are a bit different in energies from you, they will be lacking those natural impulses and energy that you already have. This way, you will be a way for them to learn about different ways of being. It will be a growing and evolving relationship, compared to the one where both of you fight for your main roles.

 

We were born to evolve

We are here to evolve. We live life to learn, to evolve as people.

But this idea is much much harder to sell and we tend to dislike everything that takes effort.

That is why basic ideas spread faster. But they don’t always mean that they are real and true to follow.

Just look at the great example of Buddha. He was a happy man, according to many. He was a rich prince (again, the same old story of that money doesn’t buy happiness). He had it all. However, he was not happy. Everything came easy to him. Everything was fine. No struggles were needed to be done in his life. So he was unhappy.

 

Hardships are ultimately Happy-ships

If this idea is not clear enough, then we can just take a look at your own life. When we accomplish something that was hard to achieve but in the end we somehow managed to do it – we feel amazing, we feel like we are on top of the world.

That is the result of overcoming struggles in life. We evolve and we feel stronger.

Take the hard gym session as another example. Take that horrendous math question you finally understood when you were a kid. Take every difficulty you had in life and then remember the feeling you had when you finally achieved the expected result.

 

Because with struggle comes happiness

Because when bad things happen, ultimately that leads to good things. That is the cycle of life – a life lesson – that we all learn but forget, but somehow Mark Manson reminded us all in his book called “The subtle art of not giving a f*”.

 

Forget the soulmates fantasy

If you are in a relationship with a person with an almost similar personality as yourself, you will be both struggling to figure out how to make decisions. How to solve problems, how to deal with the power struggles, how to decide on things. As you will be both in need for someone else to respond or for someone else to engage first. But because you both are the same type and respond to situations the same way, it will be a relationship built around power struggles. Or, no power at all. But both will be standing on the same spot, waiting for the other to come from a different one, but that won’t happen.

For a well-balanced blend, there needs to be different ways of dealing with problems, different ways of interacting. Not completely opposite, but also not too much the same. The real signs you found your soulmate should have that in mind. Take a look at these situations that happen all the time:

 

Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects Jane and Martin

Image this couple is trying to decide on where to go. They are both in the car trying to decide where to go have a good afternoon. If they are both indecisive, and passive and non-engaging, none of them is going to give a solution to the situation. And so there will come the need for one of them to adapt to this issue and go to another part of their self – that is not necessarily their way of generally being. Just so there could be some movement, some kind of decision. As both of them are passive and indecisive. And there should be one that should be taking the lead and the one who would be accepting that for the other, as this would be their way of being.

 

Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects Kate and Tom

They both like to be dominant in a relationship. They both have strong ideas.

If they both are like this, chances are they will have very fiery and aggressive fights, as none of them will back down on their opinions. If it comes to harsh arguments, there will be no one to run after the other to try and solve the problems with conversation. As both will just do something irrational or aggressive or leave or shut themselves up and not talk to the other. For days, or even forever. Depending on the amount of drama.

Whereas, if there would be more balance between their personalities, there would be one of them that would be calmer and steadier. Who could “run” after the one that irrationally tries to leave or do something stupid out of anger, for example. This way, whenever a hard situation comes in, because one is not as reactive as the other, it will be simply easier to deal with bad arguments. And so, there are more chances for them to not break up for small and insignificant things just because they didn’t talk and ran out.

Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects Wilson and Zara

One of them wants to go to this specific restaurant, but they both like to take the lead. The man in the relationship, if he’s a dominant and likes to generally lead, he will probably not feel very great about his girlfriend being in charge. Maybe she will back down in a few of the first encounters. But if she also likes to lead, it will be a problem. As she will have to tuck that energy of her’s away, for there to be some order. But at the end of the day, she won’t like it. It will feel like she is not herself. If they continue to have a relationship, there most certainly will be fights over who handles what. As none of them will like to back down.

 

Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects Yara and Larston

Both of them are very socially awkward and don’t really engage with other people too much. It’s hard for them to self-express and initiate contact with others. If they both are in a relationship, it will be hard for them even more, as they will be isolated from everyone.

They will then feel like they are too much around each other, so there will be no growth, they will always be comfortable. And they both will be waiting for the other to propose something new to do or places to go or people to meet. Or something social. As they are both introverted and thus, more responding than initiative. They will wait for others to invite them to places.

But in this case, because both of them are the same type, they will be always waiting for the other to initiate something. But it won’t happen. Because their interaction style is the same. So there is no complementary aspect in this relationship, as both have the same type of energy. So although they both know how each other feels when wanting to have time alone, there will be a lack of initiation socially that will be needed. As every person needs social interactions, that can lead to isolation, then to lack of energy in life, then to sedentary lifestyle, to laziness, then to less friends, then to social anxiety, arguments between each other, etc etc etc.

 

Main ideas to take out from these examples

The main point is that if you have X type of way and position in your relationships, it will be very bad for you to be with the same exact type of person as you. Because you will be clashing your energies. It will be a fight of who is the strongest.

So the strongest, the less in tune with the subliminal aspects of human interaction or more head-strong or more aggressive, will ultimately win here. (Take a look at the temperaments theory post. If you want to understand how different energies and temperaments behave. This way you can discover the more prevalent behavior of your partner or friends or even your own)

In the long run, after the first stages of the relationship, when both of them are more relaxed and accustomed to each other, it will come as a surprise for them how each other is in reality, after the romantic dates, the sporadic gatherings and the movie sessions are replaced with the real everyday things. 

 

Conclusion to the flawed soulmates definition

The idea of chasing soulmates, chasing perfect people, searching for the signs that show if you found your soulmate or not, checking soulmates compatibility, checking if your relationship is true soulmate love, is all very wrong if it is coming from a place of looking for a person that will be just like you, that will always get you and will be like your twin.

We mustn’t look for ourselves in a relationship. We must learn how to engage with other people, how to deal with hardships, how to deal with fights, how to deal with emotions and feelings.

We tend to believe in this soulmate definition because it is convenient and it is cute. But it is damaging our society, which is already very socially damaged.

The basic understanding of life is that everything has to have balance. So the signs you found your soulmate, if you believe in this, shouldn’t be based on similarities. But rather, in ways that you both complement each other. Ways that help you grow.

Balance. In all matters of life. So let’s drop this idea that we need to find our true soulmate love, because then we most often chase after perfection, our other halfs that are really just ourselves. It is not good to believe in fairy-tales, as they are just that, cartoons and perfectly created stories with perfect endings.

 

Stay healthy and curious!

P.S. For those that are interested, everything here said is very much connected with the Four Elements theory post. The Four Temperaments theory post. As those have been, and still are, the basis for the psychology of personalities and the understanding of how and why people behave in particular and different ways. 

 

Reading Time 35 mins

What are the Signs that say You Found Your True Soulmate?

What are the signs that you found your soulmate? Do you have soulmate compatibility with your partner? How can you know if it is true soulmate love? How can you tell the true and real signs you found your soulmate?

And do these questions even matter? Do they really? Why have we all heard about this millions of times before? What is the meaning behind true soulmate love? How can we even tell if someone has soulmate compatibility?

I’ve come to notice that in general, whenever people talk about soulmates, they generally refer to this idea of two halfs, that were somehow cut out and separated, like that mythological ancient idea told by Aristophanes here:

“[Each] one longed for its other half, and so they would throw their arms about each other, weaving themselves together, wanting to grow together.” 

These two people are just chasing and looking for each other in order to be happy and complete again.

The idea about soulmates, the signs that tell if you found your soulmate or not, has to do with both of these people being very similar, so that they can get along just fine. So in order to be soulmates and have high probability of having “true soulmate love” has to do with similarity. That if you can easily relate with this person, if the other person “gets you”, then you are soulmates, you are compatible. Because you are so much alike and you just get each other, because you are so similar and so comfortable.

Take this Wikipedia definition as just one of the examples I could have put here (because let’s face it, when busy, we all just take a fast look at what people wrote on Wikipedia in order to get a sense of fast knowledge):

A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust. Wikipedia

 

By looking at this, you see there the words “similarity” and “comfort”. We could talk about the other words there too, but those are just basic, fundamental words that define relationships. Without them it’s not really a relationship. I mean, of course there has to be “love”, also “romance”, “intimacy” (duh), “sexuality” (duh again). But the focus of it being “similar” is still there. But the word “similar” isn’t as crucial as the other ones. 

 

Although this is a very nice and cute idea, the reality is a bit different. And although we hear this soulmate definition quite often, this is still a very misleading idea. It is doing more damage than good to all the girls that are growing up, and the ones who did believing in this fairy tale.

 

Why do we hear so much about this soulmates definition?

Then I question, why do we see this soulmates definition being propagated everywhere, from movies, books, series, our cultures, etc. Why do we keep telling ourselves that we need to find people that are like us? Why? 

Clearly, it’s not doing us any good. It is a bad concept to have and to follow, because as we grow up, we eventually get hit in the face with reality. Reality hits hard. Once we clear our eyes from this true-love-utopic-cloud, we realize that not everyone will be the same as us and that everyone is obviously different. 

Or in many cases, reality doesn’t hit. And then it’s even worse, as in that case the chase is never-ending and utopic. And this chasing can keep going for years and years, if we don’t accommodate ourselves with our partners differences and continue chasing “the perfect one”. When we believe in that perfection, that dream of ours, we might find someone that we like, or even love. However, any time a conflict arises, we think that maybe it’s better to just go ahead and find someone else, less this, better that. 

 

Unrealistic “true soulmate love”

With this concept of love, we seek to find that person that will be like our twin in everything. 

If we think about this for a little bit, we can come to the obvious realization that when we allow ourselves to dream and follow this idea, we are misleading ourselves into believing that there is someone out there that will be just like us. That there will be this someone who will completely understand us and that there won’t be any struggles and fuss about anything and we will be living happily ever after. Because we so much get each other all-the-time! Perfect! (but not really)

Those are not the signs you found your soulmate. This idea can be interesting and pleasing to dream about, but in the real life, we see that two people that are the same, will be clashing.

 

The easy way out concept (this is the true “soulmate” signs)

The easy ideas are easy to convey to everyone. If they are easy, everyone can follow them.

Because this theory is so comforting to have. We all would highly prefer to be with people that would always understand us or be very similar to us, because then there wouldn’t be any kind of conflict and so, people would be always happy – in Happylandia.

However, firstly, this is impossible in life, because no two people are absolutely the same. It is impossible. And then secondly, this idea might be cute in our minds, but when implemented in real conversations, its not gonna be smooth and easy. Because of the first reason, there won’t be always understanding and always compatibility (because again, it’s impossible). Even if the first fact could happen, there would come the aspect of communication, types of communication, empathy – basically, ways these two exactly-the-same-two-persons would interact and what each of them would need in the other partner for it to be a happy relationship. It might look like it would be magic and comfort and “oh, he/she gets me!”, it would suck. (why it would suck I explain further down)

According to psychology and the understanding of the different personality types people have, we need to have somehow differences with our partners. Because if we are too much alike, there is just stagnation. This idea is not only shared in the psychological field, as ancient theories also talk about this, and also in many world cultures.

(If you are interested in knowing about this more in depth to learn about the different personalities people have, this is a great place to start, from Linda Berens Ph. D. She has over 35 years of studying these topics. Or if you already know about the personalities theory, then check this video on YouTube about the four sides of the mind)

Imagine the scenario, two people of the same type of personality come together. Although it may seem like they will get along just fine, it would not be the perfect match. In fact, it will be a terrible match. Because each of them has their personal energies and predominance’s, but in this case, these are exactly the same. So there is no balance. Both of them have the same strengths and the same difficulties. Imagine a scale, where both of them are on the same side, while the opposite one is empty.

They might understand many things about each other, but that understanding will not make them be happy together. Simply because they will respond the same way to the situations, so there won’t be another point of view, another type of energy, and so on. They can’t be too similar.

 

“OMG! Is there soulmate compatibility here?” The misleading signs that might make you think you found your soulmate

I once had an encounter with a person that was born on the same day as I was. And there was this instant connection that we felt right away after just a few words exchanged when we first met. We were very similar, and we got along very easily right from the first hello. I remember his close friend later commented that we were “soulmates”. And this idea has stayed in my head, as in the beginning it felt like this could be somehow something to do with “soulmates”. But soon I once again remembered how wrong it was even to say such a barbarity.

On the first encounters, we were quite in the flow, we understood each other easily. It was simple to be open and share our thoughts and emotions as conversation was going smoothly. However, when we started to feel more comfortable around each other, I started to see the complete picture about our friendship.

After the beginning stages of getting to know each other were replaced by friendship, I started to notice his dominant side. His true feelings, his way of dealing with situations and issues that arose in our everyday encounters. And I began to realize that the way we dealt with situations in life were very very alike. We had the same energy. I felt as if I was looking at myself. In every given situation, our energy was the same. And so, obviously, there was an impasse.

Then came the issues around him being the guy. So his attitude was supposed to be more dominant over mine, as I’m the woman, so whenever I would show something resembling anything more “masculine”, dominant, assertive, he would always find a way to come on top of the situation, being a gentleman. Because he wanted to lead, and when we both tried to do it, it created conflict. So, either one of us would step down, or we would have to “fight” for the leader in every situation.

As we were still in our early stages of friendship, I didn’t want to create any conflict. So I just stepped down and allowed him to lead, and take over the situations. And I’m not talking about tough situations, or arguments. I am referring to subliminal behavior, little things, that I had an eye on due to studying these subjects. I’m not even sure he knew that this was happening. Because as soon as this became apparent to me, I just switched my mind into a different behavior, due to his immediate reactions on my attempts.

So, in order to maintain peace, I just embraced the fact that he wanted to lead in this friendship. So I would have to accommodate that need, and hide my own. In order for there to be peace and no conflict that could jeopardize our friendship in the long run, as I saw his reactions whenever I tried to take that lead. And I didn’t mind. Because it was just a friendship. There was no point in there to be conflict over small little things, as I was fine with it.

 

Those are not the signs to think you found your soulmate

The point with this example is that although we were very similar (too much) we didn’t have this other energy that would respond to our behavior, that would balance it. So it shouldn’t be considered that just because you and another person are so much alike that is somehow one of the signs you found your soulmate.

We had the same energy and nobody to complement us with another. So because I understood that, I just went into my other side of my mind. Into my other personality, in order to be able to have a way for us to communicate and be friendly with each other. But in no way we were soulmates, and those similarities were not really signs we were meant to be with each other. Nor that we were in any way compatible, because the true soulmate meaning can’t possibly be this. 

Because we were friends, I was fine with it. But this was not me being fully myself. And so if this would be a situation in a romantic relationship, it would be very very hard to deal with. As it is exhausting in the long run to soften your ways for there to be peace, because you’ll be doing that every single day. And I mean, of course there has to be adjusting and softening in our ways in every relationship. We need to consider other people too, but if we are in a place where we are constantly accepting to silence our genuine ways of being, our natural impulses, our natural needs, our personalities as a whole, then it is not good of us, as it may then lead to health problems, etc etc etc.

 

We all have different roles in our lives

Although we do this all the time, we take roles and adjust to others and others adjust to us, conscious or unconsciously knowing this, with our friends and people in general. We behave in different ways according to situations. It has nothing to do with being fake or pretending (take a look at Erving Goffman’s theory that life is a theatrical representation). As we take roles in society, at our jobs, with family, friends, at the supermarket. We are not the same person in every single situation.

 

But in true love, we need to be ourselves

When we talk about soulmates, true love, and soulmates compatibility, this is not ok, at all. Simply because when we share our every single day with another person, we don’t want to be taking roles or adjusting too much. We need to be completely ourselves, we need to be embracing our main personalities in order to be happy.

So if you cannot be fully yourself because the other person also has the same needs as you, you need to find someone who will appreciate your needs. When there is this other person, a bit different in energies from you, they will be lacking those natural impulses and energy that you already have. This way, you will be a way for them to learn about different ways of being. It will be a growing and evolving relationship, compared to the one where both of you fight for your main roles that are the same.

 

We were born to evolve

Because we are not here to be stagnant. We are here to evolve. We live life to learn, to evolve as people. If everything would be all easy and stagnant, with no conflict and difficult situations that we don’t like, we wouldn’t grow. We wouldn’t evolve the way we should, and ultimately, we would be unhappy in our perfect stagnant world.

But this idea is much much harder to sell easily and we tend to dislike everything that takes effort. That is why basic ideas spread faster. But they don’t always mean that they are real and true to follow.

Just look at the great example of Buddha. He was a happy man, according to many. He was a rich prince (again, the same old story of that money doesn’t buy happiness). He had it all. However, he was not happy. Everything came easy to him. Everything was fine. No struggles were needed to be done in his life. So he was unhappy. That is why he changed his life and ultimately became Buddha. Look at all the children books, they all tell us the same story, we just forget about this.

 

Hardships are ultimately Happy-ships

If this idea is not clear enough, then we can just take a look at our own life. When we accomplish something that was hard to achieve. But in the end, somehow we managed to do it. And we feel amazing, we feel like we are on top of the world. Flying.

That is the result of overcoming struggles in life. We evolve and we feel stronger.

Take the hard gym session that you manage to do. Take that horrendous math problem you finally did when you were a kid. Take every difficulty you had in life and then remember the feeling you had when you finally achieved the expected result.

 

Because with struggle comes happiness

Because when bad things happen, ultimately that leads to good things. That is the cycle of life – a life lesson – that we all learn but forget, but somehow Mark Manson reminded us all in his book called “The subtle art of not giving a f*”.

 

Honest and real soulmates don’t look for themselves in love

In terms of relationships, if you are with someone who is your exact copy, who feels everything like you do, you will be experiencing some really hard times.

If you are in a relationship with a person with an almost similar personality as yourself, you will be both struggling to figure out how to make decisions. How to solve problems, how to deal with the power struggles, how to decide on things. As you will be both in need for someone else to respond or for someone else to engage first. But because you both are the same type and respond to situations the same way, it will be a relationship built around power struggles. Or, no power at all. But both will be standing on the same spot, waiting for the other to come from a different one, but that won’t happen.

 

Relationships need to be balanced, as everything else in life

For a well-balanced blend, there needs to be different ways of dealing with problems, different ways of interacting. Not completely opposite, but also not too much the same. The real signs you found your soulmate should have that in mind. Take a look at these situations that happen all the time:

Does this scream “Soulmate Compatibility 100%”?

 

Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects J and M

Image this couple is trying to decide on where to go. They are both in the car trying to decide where to go have a good afternoon. If they are both indecisive, and passive and non-engaging, none of them is going to give a solution to the situation. And so there will come the need for one of them to adapt to this issue and go to another part of their self – that is not necessarily their way of generally being. Just so there could be some movement, some kind of decision. As both of them are passive and indecisive. And there should be one that should be taking the lead and the one who would be accepting that for the other, as this would be their way of being.


Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects K and T

They both like to be dominant in a relationship. They both have strong ideas.

If they both are like this, chances are they will have very fiery and aggressive fights, as none of them will back down on their opinions. If it comes to harsh arguments, there will be no one to run after the other to try and solve the problems with conversation. As both will just do something irrational or aggressive or leave or shut themselves up and not talk to the other. For days, or even forever. Depending on the amount of drama.

Whereas, if there would be more balance between their personalities, there would be one of them that would be calmer and steadier. Who could “run” after the one that irrationally tries to leave or do something stupid out of anger, for example. This way, whenever a hard situation comes in, because one is not as reactive as the other, it will be simply easier to deal with bad arguments. And so, there are more chances for them to not break up for small and insignificant things just because they didn’t talk and ran out.


Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects W and Z

One of them wants to go to this specific restaurant, but they both like to take the lead. The man in the relationship, if he’s a dominant and likes to generally lead, he will probably not feel very great about his girlfriend being in charge. Maybe she will back down in a few of the first encounters. But if she also likes to lead, it will be a problem. As she will have to tuck that energy of her’s away, for there to be some order. But at the end of the day, she won’t like it. It will feel like she is not herself. If they continue to have a relationship, there will most certainly be fights over who handles what. As none of them will like to back down.

 

Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects Y and L

Both of them are very socially awkward and don’t really engage with other people too much. It’s hard for them to self-express and initiate contact with others. If they both are in a relationship, it will be hard for them even more, as they will be isolated from everyone.

They will then feel like they are too much around each other, so there will be no growth, they will always be comfortable. And they both will be waiting for the other to propose something new to do or places to go or people to meet. Or something social. As they are both introverted and thus, more responding than initiative. They will wait for others to invite them to places.

But in this case, because both of them are the same type, they will be always waiting for the other to initiate something. But it won’t happen. Because their interaction style is the same. So there is no complementary aspect in this relationship, as both have the same type of energy. So although they both know how each other feels when wanting to have time alone, there will be a lack of initiation socially that will be needed. As every person needs social interactions, that can lead to isolation, then to lack of energy in life, then to sedentary lifestyle, to laziness, then to less friends, then to social anxiety, arguments between each other, etc etc etc.

 

Verdict of the “testing” – why this soulmate definition is bad

The “stronger” one, the less tolerant, the head-strong one, the less empathic, the more self-assured one will win. While the “weaker”, more empathic, or diplomatic, or less self-assured, or less strong-headed will resent the situation and will accumulate hatred towards their loved one. As it will just be inevitable since they are restraining their own energy, and that will eventually result in huge fighting later.

Because ultimately, one of them is succumbing to the other person’s desires, while constraining their own. Then it becomes painful and that energy will need to be released. And it won’t be pretty, of course.

 

Main ideas to take out from these examples

These are just small life examples. As there are millions of others we could talk for hours that give us the example that this understanding and definition of soulmates that is very much everywhere these days, is very flawed. We need to inspire people to be more open to differences, instead of chasing for the comfort, the easy way out. Being similar doesn’t necessarily mean you are soulmates, those are not signs you found your soulmate.  

The main point is that if you have X type of way and position in your relationships, it will be very bad for you to be with the same type of person as you. Because you will be clashing your energies. It will be a fight of who is the strongest.

So the strongest, the less in tune with the subliminal aspects of human interaction or more head-strong or more aggressive, will ultimately win here. (Take a look at the temperaments theory post. If you want to understand how different energies and temperaments behave. This way you can discover the more prevalent behavior of your partner or friends or even your own)

In the long run, after the first stages of the relationship, when both of them are more relaxed and accustomed to each other, it will come as a surprise for them how each other is in reality, after the romantic dates, the sporadic gatherings and the movie sessions are replaced with the real everyday things. 

 

Two ways these stories can end

There are mainly two outcomes in these situations.

Either 1) they are both their true selves and they express their feelings very straightforwardly. But that leads to eventual fights over who is the dominant one. And it will be a matter of them being able to cope with these constant power fights or eventually they just break up due to the inability to cooperate with both their dominant energies. It can not even survive the first stages of dating, as they will be very head-strong with each others personal ideas and won’t allow for there to a more relaxed way of interacting. 

Or 2) one of them will hold their energy (generally and most probably will be the woman), they will hold their self-expression for the sake of the stability of the relationship. As women are generally more attuned to interpersonal relationships and to the subtle aspects of it and because of the romantic dates of the first stages of the relationship that are supposed to be lead by a gentleman. However, after the first stages or when one of them is not feeling it, that energy will come out like a volcano and it will overwhelm the other. Simply because one of them has been bottling it up and feeling angry and repressed. The “dominant” in the relationship will not like it, as it will come as unexpected behavior. Again, it is not good. 

In both cases, the main point is about being mature enough (generally having to do with age, due to more experience in life), because it will take huge amounts of inner power to be establishing each other’s needs and natural ways of being for there to not be any conflict. But because that is impossible to happen consistently, it is inevitable for them to have fights. 

 

Conclusion to the flawed soulmates definition

Hopefully I have made some kind of impact on one of you readers, to change this understanding to a new one. As this idea of chasing soulmates, chasing perfect people, searching for the signs that show if you found your soulmate or not, checking soulmates compatibility, checking if your relationship is true soulmate love, is all very corrupt. In the sense that we mustn’t look for ourselves.

We cannot expect other people to behave the same way as us, because if that happens, you will not like it anyway. Because of the power struggles and sameness in the energies around you. We tend to believe in this soulmate definition and utopia because it is convenient and it is cute. But it shouldn’t be used as a guide.

The basic understanding of life is that everything has to have balance. And so, I want to emphasize just that. Because we need balance in our lives. So the signs you found your soulmate, if you believe in this, shouldn’t be based on similarities. But rather, in ways that you both complement each other. Ways that help you grow.

Balance. In all matters of life. So let’s drop this idea that we need to find our true soulmate love, because then we most often chase after perfection, our other halfs that are really just ourselves. It is not good to believe in fairy-tales, as they are just that, cartoons and perfectly created stories with perfect endings.

Stay healthy and curious!

P.S. For those that are interested, everything here said is very much connected with the Four Elements theory post. The Four Temperaments theory post. As those have been, and still are, the basis for the psychology of personalities and the understanding of how and why people behave in particular and different ways. 

 

 

What are the Signs that say You Found Your True Soulmate?

What are the signs that you found your soulmate? Do you have soulmate compatibility with your partner? How can you know if it is true soulmate love? How can you tell the true and real signs you found your soulmate?

And do these questions even matter? Do they really? Why have we all heard about this millions of times before? What is the meaning behind true soulmate love? How can we even tell if someone has soulmate compatibility?

I’ve come to notice that in general, whenever people talk about soulmates, they generally refer to this idea of two halfs, that were somehow cut out and separated, like that mythological ancient idea told by Aristophanes here:

“[Each] one longed for its other half, and so they would throw their arms about each other, weaving themselves together, wanting to grow together.” 

These two people are just chasing and looking for each other in order to be happy and complete again.

The idea about soulmates, the signs that tell if you found your soulmate or not, has to do with both of these people being very similar, so that they can get along just fine. So in order to be soulmates and have high probability of having “true soulmate love” has to do with similarity. That if you can easily relate with this person, if the other person “gets you”, then you are soulmates, you are compatible. Because you are so much alike and you just get each other, because you are so similar and so comfortable.

Take this Wikipedia definition as just one of the examples I could have put here (because let’s face it, when busy, we all just take a fast look at what people wrote on Wikipedia in order to get a sense of fast knowledge):

A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust. Wikipedia

 By looking at this, you see there the words “similarity” and “comfort”. We could talk about the other words there too, but those are just basic, fundamental words that define relationships. Without them it’s not really a relationship. I mean, of course there has to be “love”, also “romance”, “intimacy” (duh), “sexuality” (duh again). But the focus of it being “similar” is still there. But the word “similar” isn’t as crucial as the other ones.  

Although this is a very nice and cute idea, the reality is a bit different. And although we hear this soulmate definition quite often, this is still a very misleading idea. It is doing more damage than good to all the girls that are growing up, and the ones who did believing in this fairy tale.

 

Why do we hear so much about this soulmates definition?

Then I question, why do we see this soulmates definition being propagated everywhere, from movies, books, series, our cultures, etc. Why do we keep telling ourselves that we need to find people that are like us? Why? 

Clearly, it’s not doing us any good. It is a bad concept to have and to follow, because as we grow up, we eventually get hit in the face with reality. Reality hits hard. Once we clear our eyes from this true-love-utopic-cloud, we realize that not everyone will be the same as us and that everyone is obviously different. 

Or in many cases, reality doesn’t hit. And then it’s even worse, as in that case the chase is never-ending and utopic. And this chasing can keep going for years and years, if we don’t accommodate ourselves with our partners differences and continue chasing “the perfect one”. When we believe in that perfection, that dream of ours, we might find someone that we like, or even love. However, any time a conflict arises, we think that maybe it’s better to just go ahead and find someone else, less this, better that. 

 

Unrealistic “true soulmate love”

With this concept of love, we seek to find that person that will be like our twin in everything. 

If we think about this for a little bit, we can come to the obvious realization that when we allow ourselves to dream and follow this idea, we are misleading ourselves into believing that there is someone out there that will be just like us. That there will be this someone who will completely understand us and that there won’t be any struggles and fuss about anything and we will be living happily ever after. Because we so much get each other all-the-time! Perfect! (but not really)

Those are not the signs you found your soulmate. This idea can be interesting and pleasing to dream about, but in the real life, we see that two people that are the same, will be clashing.

 

The easy way out concept (this is the true “soulmate” signs)

The easy ideas are easy to convey to everyone. If they are easy, everyone can follow them.

Because this theory is so comforting to have. We all would highly prefer to be with people that would always understand us or be very similar to us, because then there wouldn’t be any kind of conflict and so, people would be always happy – in Happylandia.

However, firstly, this is impossible in life, because no two people are absolutely the same. It is impossible. And then secondly, this idea might be cute in our minds, but when implemented in real conversations, its not gonna be smooth and easy. Because of the first reason, there won’t be always understanding and always compatibility (because again, it’s impossible). Even if the first fact could happen, there would come the aspect of communication, types of communication, empathy – basically, ways these two exactly-the-same-two-persons would interact and what each of them would need in the other partner for it to be a happy relationship. It might look like it would be magic and comfort and “oh, he/she gets me!”, it would suck. (why it would suck I explain further down)

According to psychology and the understanding of the different personality types people have, we need to have somehow differences with our partners. Because if we are too much alike, there is just stagnation. This idea is not only shared in the psychological field, as ancient theories also talk about this, and also in many world cultures.

(If you are interested in knowing about this more in depth to learn about the different personalities people have, this is a great place to start, from Linda Berens Ph. D. She has over 35 years of studying these topics. Or if you already know about the personalities theory, then check this video on YouTube about the four sides of the mind)

Imagine the scenario, two people of the same type of personality come together. Although it may seem like they will get along just fine, it would not be the perfect match. In fact, it will be a terrible match. Because each of them has their personal energies and predominance’s, but in this case, these are exactly the same. So there is no balance. Both of them have the same strengths and the same difficulties. Imagine a scale, where both of them are on the same side, while the opposite one is empty.

They might understand many things about each other, but that understanding will not make them be happy together. Simply because they will respond the same way to the situations, so there won’t be another point of view, another type of energy, and so on. They can’t be too similar.

 

“OMG! Is there soulmate compatibility here?” The misleading signs that might make you think you found your soulmate

I once had an encounter with a person that was born on the same day as I was. And there was this instant connection that we felt right away after just a few words exchanged when we first met. We were very similar, and we got along very easily right from the first hello. I remember his close friend later commented that we were “soulmates”. And this idea has stayed in my head, as in the beginning it felt like this could be somehow something to do with “soulmates”. But soon I once again remembered how wrong it was even to say such a barbarity.

On the first encounters, we were quite in the flow, we understood each other easily. It was simple to be open and share our thoughts and emotions as conversation was going smoothly. However, when we started to feel more comfortable around each other, I started to see the complete picture about our friendship.

After the beginning stages of getting to know each other were replaced by friendship, I started to notice his dominant side. His true feelings, his way of dealing with situations and issues that arose in our everyday encounters. And I began to realize that the way we dealt with situations in life were very very alike. We had the same energy. I felt as if I was looking at myself. In every given situation, our energy was the same. And so, obviously, there was an impasse.

Then came the issues around him being the guy. So his attitude was supposed to be more dominant over mine, as I’m the woman, so whenever I would show something resembling anything more “masculine”, dominant, assertive, he would always find a way to come on top of the situation, being a gentleman. Because he wanted to lead, and when we both tried to do it, it created conflict. So, either one of us would step down, or we would have to “fight” for the leader in every situation.

As we were still in our early stages of friendship, I didn’t want to create any conflict. So I just stepped down and allowed him to lead, and take over the situations. And I’m not talking about tough situations, or arguments. I am referring to subliminal behavior, little things, that I had an eye on due to studying these subjects. I’m not even sure he knew that this was happening. Because as soon as this became apparent to me, I just switched my mind into a different behavior, due to his immediate reactions on my attempts.

So, in order to maintain peace, I just embraced the fact that he wanted to lead in this friendship. So I would have to accommodate that need, and hide my own. In order for there to be peace and no conflict that could jeopardize our friendship in the long run, as I saw his reactions whenever I tried to take that lead. And I didn’t mind. Because it was just a friendship. There was no point in there to be conflict over small little things, as I was fine with it.

 

Those are not the signs to think you found your soulmate

The point with this example is that although we were very similar (too much) we didn’t have this other energy that would respond to our behavior, that would balance it. So it shouldn’t be considered that just because you and another person are so much alike that is somehow one of the signs you found your soulmate.

We had the same energy and nobody to complement us with another. So because I understood that, I just went into my other side of my mind. Into my other personality, in order to be able to have a way for us to communicate and be friendly with each other. But in no way we were soulmates, and those similarities were not really signs we were meant to be with each other. Nor that we were in any way compatible, because the true soulmate meaning can’t possibly be this. 

Because we were friends, I was fine with it. But this was not me being fully myself. And so if this would be a situation in a romantic relationship, it would be very very hard to deal with. As it is exhausting in the long run to soften your ways for there to be peace, because you’ll be doing that every single day. And I mean, of course there has to be adjusting and softening in our ways in every relationship. We need to consider other people too, but if we are in a place where we are constantly accepting to silence our genuine ways of being, our natural impulses, our natural needs, our personalities as a whole, then it is not good of us, as it may then lead to health problems, etc etc etc.

 

We all have different roles in our lives

Although we do this all the time, we take roles and adjust to others and others adjust to us, conscious or unconsciously knowing this, with our friends and people in general. We behave in different ways according to situations. It has nothing to do with being fake or pretending (take a look at Erving Goffman’s theory that life is a theatrical representation). As we take roles in society, at our jobs, with family, friends, at the supermarket. We are not the same person in every single situation.

 

But in true love, we need to be ourselves

When we talk about soulmates, true love, and soulmates compatibility, this is not ok, at all. Simply because when we share our every single day with another person, we don’t want to be taking roles or adjusting too much. We need to be completely ourselves, we need to be embracing our main personalities in order to be happy.

So if you cannot be fully yourself because the other person also has the same needs as you, you need to find someone who will appreciate your needs. When there is this other person, a bit different in energies from you, they will be lacking those natural impulses and energy that you already have. This way, you will be a way for them to learn about different ways of being. It will be a growing and evolving relationship, compared to the one where both of you fight for your main roles that are the same.

 

We were born to evolve

Because we are not here to be stagnant. We are here to evolve. We live life to learn, to evolve as people. If everything would be all easy and stagnant, with no conflict and difficult situations that we don’t like, we wouldn’t grow. We wouldn’t evolve the way we should, and ultimately, we would be unhappy in our perfect stagnant world.

But this idea is much much harder to sell easily and we tend to dislike everything that takes effort. That is why basic ideas spread faster. But they don’t always mean that they are real and true to follow.

Just look at the great example of Buddha. He was a happy man, according to many. He was a rich prince (again, the same old story of that money doesn’t buy happiness). He had it all. However, he was not happy. Everything came easy to him. Everything was fine. No struggles were needed to be done in his life. So he was unhappy. That is why he changed his life and ultimately became Buddha. Look at all the children books, they all tell us the same story, we just forget about this.

 

Hardships are ultimately Happy-ships

If this idea is not clear enough, then we can just take a look at our own life. When we accomplish something that was hard to achieve. But in the end, somehow we managed to do it. And we feel amazing, we feel like we are on top of the world. Flying.

That is the result of overcoming struggles in life. We evolve and we feel stronger.

Take the hard gym session that you manage to do. Take that horrendous math problem you finally did when you were a kid. Take every difficulty you had in life and then remember the feeling you had when you finally achieved the expected result.

 

Because with struggle comes happiness

Because when bad things happen, ultimately that leads to good things. That is the cycle of life – a life lesson – that we all learn but forget, but somehow Mark Manson reminded us all in his book called “The subtle art of not giving a f*”.

 

Honest and real soulmates don’t look for themselves in love

In terms of relationships, if you are with someone who is your exact copy, who feels everything like you do, you will be experiencing some really hard times.

If you are in a relationship with a person with an almost similar personality as yourself, you will be both struggling to figure out how to make decisions. How to solve problems, how to deal with the power struggles, how to decide on things. As you will be both in need for someone else to respond or for someone else to engage first. But because you both are the same type and respond to situations the same way, it will be a relationship built around power struggles. Or, no power at all. But both will be standing on the same spot, waiting for the other to come from a different one, but that won’t happen.

 

Relationships need to be balanced, as everything else in life

For a well-balanced blend, there needs to be different ways of dealing with problems, different ways of interacting. Not completely opposite, but also not too much the same. The real signs you found your soulmate should have that in mind. Take a look at these situations that happen all the time:

Does this scream “Soulmate Compatibility 100%”?

 

Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects J and M

Image this couple is trying to decide on where to go. They are both in the car trying to decide where to go have a good afternoon. If they are both indecisive, and passive and non-engaging, none of them is going to give a solution to the situation. And so there will come the need for one of them to adapt to this issue and go to another part of their self – that is not necessarily their way of generally being. Just so there could be some movement, some kind of decision. As both of them are passive and indecisive. And there should be one that should be taking the lead and the one who would be accepting that for the other, as this would be their way of being.


Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects K and T

They both like to be dominant in a relationship. They both have strong ideas.

If they both are like this, chances are they will have very fiery and aggressive fights, as none of them will back down on their opinions. If it comes to harsh arguments, there will be no one to run after the other to try and solve the problems with conversation. As both will just do something irrational or aggressive or leave or shut themselves up and not talk to the other. For days, or even forever. Depending on the amount of drama.

Whereas, if there would be more balance between their personalities, there would be one of them that would be calmer and steadier. Who could “run” after the one that irrationally tries to leave or do something stupid out of anger, for example. This way, whenever a hard situation comes in, because one is not as reactive as the other, it will be simply easier to deal with bad arguments. And so, there are more chances for them to not break up for small and insignificant things just because they didn’t talk and ran out.


Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects W and Z

One of them wants to go to this specific restaurant, but they both like to take the lead. The man in the relationship, if he’s a dominant and likes to generally lead, he will probably not feel very great about his girlfriend being in charge. Maybe she will back down in a few of the first encounters. But if she also likes to lead, it will be a problem. As she will have to tuck that energy of her’s away, for there to be some order. But at the end of the day, she won’t like it. It will feel like she is not herself. If they continue to have a relationship, there will most certainly be fights over who handles what. As none of them will like to back down.

 

Testing True Soulmate Love Subjects Y and L

Both of them are very socially awkward and don’t really engage with other people too much. It’s hard for them to self-express and initiate contact with others. If they both are in a relationship, it will be hard for them even more, as they will be isolated from everyone.

They will then feel like they are too much around each other, so there will be no growth, they will always be comfortable. And they both will be waiting for the other to propose something new to do or places to go or people to meet. Or something social. As they are both introverted and thus, more responding than initiative. They will wait for others to invite them to places.

But in this case, because both of them are the same type, they will be always waiting for the other to initiate something. But it won’t happen. Because their interaction style is the same. So there is no complementary aspect in this relationship, as both have the same type of energy. So although they both know how each other feels when wanting to have time alone, there will be a lack of initiation socially that will be needed. As every person needs social interactions, that can lead to isolation, then to lack of energy in life, then to sedentary lifestyle, to laziness, then to less friends, then to social anxiety, arguments between each other, etc etc etc.

 

Verdict of the “testing” – why this soulmate definition is bad

The “stronger” one, the less tolerant, the head-strong one, the less empathic, the more self-assured one will win. While the “weaker”, more empathic, or diplomatic, or less self-assured, or less strong-headed will resent the situation and will accumulate hatred towards their loved one. As it will just be inevitable since they are restraining their own energy, and that will eventually result in huge fighting later.

Because ultimately, one of them is succumbing to the other person’s desires, while constraining their own. Then it becomes painful and that energy will need to be released. And it won’t be pretty, of course.

 

Main ideas to take out from these examples

These are just small life examples. As there are millions of others we could talk for hours that give us the example that this understanding and definition of soulmates that is very much everywhere these days, is very flawed. We need to inspire people to be more open to differences, instead of chasing for the comfort, the easy way out. Being similar doesn’t necessarily mean you are soulmates, those are not signs you found your soulmate.  

The main point is that if you have X type of way and position in your relationships, it will be very bad for you to be with the same type of person as you. Because you will be clashing your energies. It will be a fight of who is the strongest.

So the strongest, the less in tune with the subliminal aspects of human interaction or more head-strong or more aggressive, will ultimately win here. (Take a look at the temperaments theory post. If you want to understand how different energies and temperaments behave. This way you can discover the more prevalent behavior of your partner or friends or even your own)

In the long run, after the first stages of the relationship, when both of them are more relaxed and accustomed to each other, it will come as a surprise for them how each other is in reality, after the romantic dates, the sporadic gatherings and the movie sessions are replaced with the real everyday things. 

 

Two ways these stories can end

There are mainly two outcomes in these situations.

Either 1) they are both their true selves and they express their feelings very straightforwardly. But that leads to eventual fights over who is the dominant one. And it will be a matter of them being able to cope with these constant power fights or eventually they just break up due to the inability to cooperate with both their dominant energies. It can not even survive the first stages of dating, as they will be very head-strong with each others personal ideas and won’t allow for there to a more relaxed way of interacting. 

Or 2) one of them will hold their energy (generally and most probably will be the woman), they will hold their self-expression for the sake of the stability of the relationship. As women are generally more attuned to interpersonal relationships and to the subtle aspects of it and because of the romantic dates of the first stages of the relationship that are supposed to be lead by a gentleman. However, after the first stages or when one of them is not feeling it, that energy will come out like a volcano and it will overwhelm the other. Simply because one of them has been bottling it up and feeling angry and repressed. The “dominant” in the relationship will not like it, as it will come as unexpected behavior. Again, it is not good. 

In both cases, the main point is about being mature enough (generally having to do with age, due to more experience in life), because it will take huge amounts of inner power to be establishing each other’s needs and natural ways of being for there to not be any conflict. But because that is impossible to happen consistently, it is inevitable for them to have fights. 

 

Conclusion to the flawed soulmates definition

Hopefully I have made some kind of impact on one of you readers, to change this understanding to a new one. As this idea of chasing soulmates, chasing perfect people, searching for the signs that show if you found your soulmate or not, checking soulmates compatibility, checking if your relationship is true soulmate love, is all very corrupt. In the sense that we mustn’t look for ourselves.

We cannot expect other people to behave the same way as us, because if that happens, you will not like it anyway. Because of the power struggles and sameness in the energies around you. We tend to believe in this soulmate definition and utopia because it is convenient and it is cute. But it shouldn’t be used as a guide.

The basic understanding of life is that everything has to have balance. And so, I want to emphasize just that. Because we need balance in our lives. So the signs you found your soulmate, if you believe in this, shouldn’t be based on similarities. But rather, in ways that you both complement each other. Ways that help you grow.

Balance. In all matters of life. So let’s drop this idea that we need to find our true soulmate love, because then we most often chase after perfection, our other halfs that are really just ourselves. It is not good to believe in fairy-tales, as they are just that, cartoons and perfectly created stories with perfect endings.

Stay healthy and curious!

P.S. For those that are interested, everything here said is very much connected with the Four Elements theory post. The Four Temperaments theory post. As those have been, and still are, the basis for the psychology of personalities and the understanding of how and why people behave in particular and different ways. 

 

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