Narcissistic Mother Traits & Signs Checklist | Narcissistic Personality

Are you interested to know if your mother or father a narcissist? Then you are in the right place. I will present to you the narcissistic mother traits and signs checklist for you to understand what are the tactics that they use all the time, every day, in various shapes and forms, that are always the same in their core.

Learning them will be a major key in your life, as you need to understand that their behavior has a pattern. And that pattern needs to be in your head all the time, for you to be able to protect yourself from those attacks. Otherwise, you will be caught every time and won’t notice that it is part of their narcissistic behavior.

You must study the patterns of their behavior so you can easily pin down whenever they manifest those narcissistic traits and signs of abuse towards you.

Protect yourself and your sanity. Learn the narcissistic mother traits checklist and be free of their control over your life once and for all.

Before you start, this post is part of a series of posts about the Narcissistic Parents topic:

1. How to know if you were raised by Narcissistic Parents? (Evaluation of your family situation): here I help you analyze your life up until this point with concrete examples for you to introspect on your family issues.

2. Signs, Traits, and Behavior of Narcissistic Parents (Evaluation of the signs of Narcissism): here I give specific information about narcissistic signs and the behavior they use on their children, with a list at the end.

3. How Narcissistic Parents Affect their Child (Evaluation of Self): here I explain the issues that come after growing up with narcissistic parents, showing common traits and behavior children adopt because of the constant narcissistic abuse from their narcissistic parent.

4. How to Live with a Narcissist and Cope with Life? (Evaluation of what to do): here I explain in 17 steps long steps how you can cope with life after you discover your parent is a narcissist. It is a deep post about all the different tips that can help you live your life having a narcissistic mother or father.

5. What are the Narcissistic Mother Traits and Signs? (Evaluation and understanding of their tactics): (current post) here I give a quick checklist for anyone to easily figure out if they have a narcissistic mother and learn the signs of narcissism to identify them in their everyday life.

The Narcissist Mother Checklist: 

This checklist is specific to the narcissistic mother traits and signs. It is adapted here to the evaluation of a narcissistic mother’s behavior towards their child. However, most of these traits also apply to any narcissist.

Keep this list forever with you. Don’t let them (the narcissists) take control of your life! Protect yourself. It’s all on this list. The key is in this list. 

• Micro-manage everything

• Over-control everything

• There are no Boundaries, therefore, they don’t know the word “privacy”

• Give Constant Restrictions of any kind

• Need all the attention to themselves 

• Are Jealous of everybody, because they demand all the attention

• Their kids are just extensions of themselves for them

• Don’t listen, so they interrupt everyone easily

• Play Mind Games of all sorts and shapes

• Practice all kinds of Manipulation tactics on everybody

• Don’t know how to listen, so they don’t have Arguments, they have Monologues (because in their head they are always right)

• Any argument is an “attack” on them (they see it like that) and so they will fight you back very aggressively, intensely, and personally – every fight is like a fight for their life 

• They are happy and proud of you for being complacent and for accepting their opinions – when in reality, there is no good in that, but they love when there is only their opinion over everything – don’t fall for this lie

• There is no real freedom to pursue what you like (only what they think is good, is good). Again, they will drag you to believe that you get better off with something of their liking (manipulation tactics alert!) 

• Always blame you for everything bad that happens in their life, from the smallest insignificant thing, like the dishwasher broke because you used it one time.

• Make you doubt your reality, as if they have memory loses to things they did or said, making you feel like you are the crazy one. Aka gaslighting. 

• Blame you for their own problems– the easiest excuse is “do you know how hard it is to grow a child?!”. Or “I have done so much for you and now this and that bla bla bla”

• They make it seem as if taking care of the basic needs of a child is something of extraordinary matters.

• Somehow you can’t make your own decisions without “consulting” them first (and being manipulated in the end to do exactly what they want)

• Whenever they’re in a bad mood, everyone is dragged down the same road

• There seems to be always drama around them. Every day there is some kind of argument. Even a trip to the shopping mall can end up with them criticizing the cashier on the way back, for example.

• They always play the victim, in every situation. Just dare to say they are wrong, and you will be fiercely met with fists and teeth, and at the end, a classical crying of the “victim”.

• Too often, they always blame you for not showing enough love for them. (But do they show theirs?)

• Criticize everyone, but you can’t criticize them, ever.

• Guilt,Blame, and Shame tactics in all forms and shapes is an everyday thing.  

At the same time, always remember: they have low self-esteem, they need constant attention, constant love, constant appreciation, they need to feel they are always right and correct, and you are always going to be their “baby” – aka, an extension of themselves, a projection of themselves. Their behavior is an attacking behavior because they don’t want to be threatened themselves, so they attack first.

So always keep that in mind when you think your narcissistic mother is being “mean” on purpose. Because for narcissists their behavior is not seen as “being mean”. They don’t really see how they make other people feel (because of lack of that emotional development when they were kids), so don’t think they are being mean on purpose. Everything they do has to do with their basic survival need. They are like cats, always looking for threats in their environment and always attacking first, even though there are no threats and they end up looking very aggressive for no reason at all.

Always keep in mind that the base of all of this behavior is simple – lack of proper love in childhood, lack of attention, lack of appreciation. So now they will overdue that forever, to compensate the losses.

Once you understand that, you can understand why they behave the way they do. It’s all part of the self-preservation, self-defence mechanism that they created for themselves. They live in a huge bubble of ignorance with lots of spikes that hurt others around them but protects them.

Find someone to talk about your feelings

Having a narcissistic mother or father is no easy task. This is why you absolutely need to have someone to talk about your issues, your emotions, and your situation. Find a trusted person to talk to personally, that would be the best thing ever.

But if you don’t have such a possibility, then use Reddit, because it’s the best free place to share your thoughts with people that also share your pain. Talking with people who face the same problems is a good way to understand that you are not alone in this struggle. There are tons of people that suffer from this, and they are all on Reddit opening their hearts and sharing their stories. And everyone is very supportive and helpful.

I am there from time to time to bring some light and help someone.  There are hundreds of groups (subreddits) dedicated especially to the topics of narcissistic parents abuse – “raised by narcissists“, “offmychest“, “narcissisticabuse“, just to name a few.

Last but not least

The more you bend and allow their opinions to overcome your own, the more damaged you become.

However, if you fight back it will only lead to a losing war to your side.

So the only outcome to this story is to turn around and go on separate ways.

Keep your distance from them. Choose the time you spend with them. Absolutely don’t stay in the same house (obviously) as it will only lead to more damage to you.

“First things first: get a very good therapist, one who accepts the idea that your mother is a narcissist and will help you through the results. Secondly, reassess your boundaries with your mother. Normal parenting does not require the majority of the child’s energy to be devoted to soothing or attending to the parent; you are allowed to have your own life and needs, something a narcissistic mother will not understand.” 

Also, take a look at Doctor Ramani’s YouTube Channel, a clinical psychologist that has a lot of videos to help you cope with this.

Wish you all the best and lots of inner strength!

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts about this topic, I would be happy to hear from you!
Stay healthy and curious!

Ps. This list might suffer a few changes over the course of time, as I will try to update it as soon as I see that there is something else important to ad.

Narcissistic Mother Traits & Signs Checklist | Narcissistic Personality

Are you interested to know if your mother or father a narcissist? Then you are in the right place. I will present to you the narcissistic mother traits and signs checklist for you to understand what are the tactics that they use all the time, every day, in various shapes and forms, that are always the same in their core.

Learning them will be a major key in your life, as you need to understand that their behavior has a pattern. And that pattern needs to be in your head all the time, for you to be able to protect yourself from those attacks. Otherwise, you will be caught every time and won’t notice that it is part of their narcissistic behavior.

You must study the patterns of their behavior so you can easily pin down whenever they manifest those narcissistic traits and signs of abuse towards you.

Protect yourself and your sanity. Learn the narcissistic mother traits checklist and be free of their control over your life once and for all.

Before you start, this post is part of a series of posts about the Narcissistic Parents topic:

1.How to know if you were raised by Narcissistic Parents? (Evaluation of your family situation): here I help you analyze your life up until this point with concrete examples for you to introspect on your family issues.

2.Signs, Traits, and Behavior of Narcissistic Parents (Evaluation of the signs of Narcissism): here I give specific information about narcissistic signs and the behavior they use on their children, with a list at the end.

3.How Narcissistic Parents Affect their Child (Evaluation of Self): here I explain the issues that come after growing up with narcissistic parents, showing common traits and behavior children adopt because of the constant narcissistic abuse from their narcissistic parent.

4.How to Live with a Narcissist and Cope with Life? (Evaluation of what to do): here I explain in 17 steps long steps how you can cope with life after you discover your parent is a narcissist. It is a deep post about all the different tips that can help you live your life having a narcissistic mother or father.

5.What are the Narcissistic Mother Traits and Signs? (Evaluation and understanding of their tactics): (current post) here I give a quick checklist for anyone to easily figure out if they have a narcissistic mother and learn the signs of narcissism to identify them in their everyday life.

The Narcissist Mother Checklist: 

This checklist is specific to the narcissistic mother traits and signs. It is adapted here to the evaluation of a narcissistic mother’s behavior towards their child. However, most of these traits also apply to any narcissist.

Keep this list forever with you. Don’t let them (the narcissists) take control of your life! Protect yourself. It’s all on this list. The key is in this list. 

• Micro-manage everything

• Over-control everything

• There are no Boundaries, therefore, they don’t know the word “privacy”

• Give Constant Restrictions of any kind

• Need all the attention to themselves 

• Are Jealousof everybody, because they demand all the attention

• Their kids are just extensions of themselves for them

• Don’t listen, so they interrupt everyone easily

• Play Mind Games of all sorts and shapes

• Practice all kinds of Manipulation tactics on everybody

• Don’t know how to listen, so they don’t have Arguments, they have Monologues (because in their head they are always right)

• Any argument is an “attack” on them (they see it like that) and so they will fight you back very aggressively, intensely, and personally – every fight is like a fight for their life 

• They are happy and proud of you for being complacent and for accepting their opinions – when in reality, there is no good in that, but they love when there is only their opinion over everything – don’t fall for this lie

• There is no real freedom to pursue what you like (only what they think is good, is good). Again, they will drag you to believe that you get better off with something of their liking (manipulation tactics alert!) 

• Always blame you for everything bad that happens in their life, from the smallest insignificant thing, like the dishwasher broke because you used it one time.

• Make you doubt your reality, as if they have memory loses to things they did or said, making you feel like you are the crazy one. Aka gaslighting. 

• Blame you for their own problems– the easiest excuse is “do you know how hard it is to grow a child?!”. Or “I have done so much for you and now this and that bla bla bla”

• They make it seem as if taking care of the basic needs of a child is something of extraordinary matters.

• Somehow you can’t make your own decisions without “consulting” them first (and being manipulated in the end to do exactly what they want)

• Whenever they’re in a bad mood, everyone is dragged down the same road

• There seems to be always drama around them. Every day there is some kind of argument. Even a trip to the shopping mall can end up with them criticizing the cashier on the way back, for example.

• They always play the victim, in every situation. Just dare to say they are wrong, and you will be fiercely met with fists and teeth, and at the end, a classical crying of the “victim”.

• Too often, they always blame you for not showing enough love for them. (But do they show theirs?)

• Criticize everyone, but you can’t criticize them, ever.

• Guilt,Blame, and Shame tactics in all forms and shapes is an everyday thing.  

At the same time, always remember: they have low self-esteem, they need constant attention, constant love, constant appreciation, they need to feel they are always right and correct, and you are always going to be their “baby” – aka, an extension of themselves, a projection of themselves. Their behavior is an attacking behavior because they don’t want to be threatened themselves, so they attack first.

So always keep that in mind when you think your narcissistic mother is being “mean” on purpose. Because for narcissists their behavior is not seen as “being mean”. They don’t really see how they make other people feel (because of lack of that emotional development when they were kids), so don’t think they are being mean on purpose. Everything they do has to do with their basic survival need. They are like cats, always looking for threats in their environment and always attacking first, even though there are no threats and they end up looking very aggressive for no reason at all.

Always keep in mind that the base of all of this behavior is simple – lack of proper love in childhood, lack of attention, lack of appreciation. So now they will overdue that forever, to compensate the losses.

Once you understand that, you can understand why they behave the way they do. It’s all part of the self-preservation, self-defence mechanism that they created for themselves. They live in a huge bubble of ignorance with lots of spikes that hurt others around them but protects them.

Find someone to talk about your feelings

Having a narcissistic mother or father is no easy task. This is why you absolutely need to have someone to talk about your issues, your emotions, and your situation. Find a trusted person to talk to personally, that would be the best thing ever.

But if you don’t have such a possibility, then use Reddit, because it’s the best free place to share your thoughts with people that also share your pain. Talking with people who face the same problems is a good way to understand that you are not alone in this struggle. There are tons of people that suffer from this, and they are all on Reddit opening their hearts and sharing their stories. And everyone is very supportive and helpful.

I am there from time to time to bring some light and help someone.  There are hundreds of groups (subreddits) dedicated especially to the topics of narcissistic parents abuse – “raised by narcissists“, “offmychest“, “narcissisticabuse“, just to name a few.

Last but not least

The more you bend and allow their opinions to overcome your own, the more damaged you become.

However, if you fight back it will only lead to a losing war to your side.

So the only outcome to this story is to turn around and go on separate ways.

Keep your distance from them. Choose the time you spend with them. Absolutely don’t stay in the same house (obviously) as it will only lead to more damage to you.

“First things first: get a very good therapist, one who accepts the idea that your mother is a narcissist and will help you through the results. Secondly, reassess your boundaries with your mother. Normal parenting does not require the majority of the child’s energy to be devoted to soothing or attending to the parent; you are allowed to have your own life and needs, something a narcissistic mother will not understand.” 

Also, take a look at Doctor Ramani’s YouTube Channel, a clinical psychologist that has a lot of videos to help you cope with this.

Wish you all the best and lots of inner strength!

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts about this topic, I would be happy to hear from you!
Stay healthy and curious!

Ps. This list might suffer a few changes over the course of time, as I will try to update it as soon as I see that there is something else important to ad.

Share with the world:

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on telegram
Share on whatsapp
Share on reddit

Share with the world:

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on pinterest
Pinterest
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on telegram
Telegram
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on reddit
Reddit
Share on email
Email
On Key

Related Posts

Any comments? Add below